You're doing your best, you're doing your best

While I was brushing my teeth I was thinking

And I kept thinking

And I thought so hard about what to say 

And now it's gone away, and that's what usually happens

Then I get frustrated

I suffer from a perpetually agonized mind, as I swim in my own thoughts,

rather drown in them

It's getting better

It's much worse than it's ever been

No it's not

I remember thinking about how they leave though

How everyone leaves and you get so miserably lonely and you can't function because it just hurts too much to move

And they keep leaving

And you hear yourself running

And your heart is empty

And you keep running

And you hear the floorboards creak under footsteps that never rest

The footsteps turn back into sprints and the creaking doesn't sound so much like creaking anymore, and you realize maybe you never even really stopped running in the first place, and maybe the creaking was a figment of your imagination and then you keep on going and you're running out of breath

(Like you even had any)

And you realize the ground is splintering underneath you as your feet pound the oak

But you realize the oak is your heart

And it always has been 

And the oak in your heart is cold, and old, and cracking, and creaking 

(Again)

Then you forget about all of this for a little while and everything is normal and where are you while this is happening and who were you three years ago and where will you go and when will this stop and why do you even bother sharing when you know regret drips into your mind while you sleep (when you sleep)