I should be happy, the sun is shining

"Suddenly this defeat.

This rain.

The blue gone grey

and the browns gone grey

and yellow

a terrible amber.

In the cold streets 

your warm body.

In whatever room

your warm body.

Among all the people

your absence.

The people who are always

not you.

I have been easy with the trees 

too long.

Too familiar with the mountains.

Joy has been a habit.

Now

suddenly

this rain."

Water

I often fear there is water in my bones. It runs through my arms and my legs at an alarming rate, but it is trapped. It floods my mind. There is nowhere for it to go. It is as though there’s a faucet that has been switched off, and there is no way to turn it back on. It is impractical to tear through delicate flesh, so I am afraid it might stay that way. But why would something important be so inaccessible? There are locks all over town, fencing in the roadways, which are my arteries and veins. Pins stuck through maps marking the places I’ve been, but inhibiting me from going anywhere else. Free me of this prison.

We were free and easy then

We were free and easy then
Our minds were maps and we were the ones who drew them

Paint would laugh

We were giddy and silly

The world was our oyster – we were the pearls

Delicate little pearls

We danced feverishly

We danced in the rain and through the falling leaves

In the early hours of the morning, through late ones on a summer’s eve

The sun would want to go to bed, we just wanted to laugh

We were steam engines

Everything was glad of us

Keys to our hearts fit locks all over town

We were free and easy then

The conversations are always best when the lids are heavy and we need some rest.

Cedar trees

I want to know your roots and what makes you stand so tall, despite your small beginnings. What makes you blossom and bloom, and what makes you want to fall away and drop everything. I want to know what swirls around you when your mind is windy, and what elements you can best withstand. How much sunlight do you need? And who relies on you to breathe each day? Who has tried to climb your branches but fallen off? Were you a wild seed, or were you carefully planted and groomed? How long does it take for you to heal when your bark’s been compromised? More subtle than a weeping willow, less common than oak. Cedar reminds me of you, but only because I love how it smells. Are you more comfortable in a forest, or do you stand alone? I want to know what the rings around your insides look like, and if they’d reflect your age.

We used to play outside when we were young and full of life and full of love

And now I'm up late again writing poetry into the morning.
I don't think there is going to be much sleep in my future.